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The Vast Wasteland...

By Skippy
Hey kids!

Skippy continues to roll with a big three in a row! Say what you will, but can anyone seriously doubt that I am in fact the Godfather of Punditry? Of course since few if any of you know what punditry means, your opinion is fairly irrelevant, but I'll take what I can get.

You know kids, this one was supposed to be a milk run. All I had to do was dash off a few random thoughts about the new TV season and put this baby to bed. I mean this is just the sort of column I whip out in fifteen minutes when it's two weeks past deadline and Andy is hounding me for wisdom. It is quite literally a no-brainer.

Yet this month I have been working on this beast for a couple of weeks and I haven't even transitioned to the topic yet. That's bad kids. Normally I insult your intelligence a couple of times and boom we are into the love. Not this time though, this month I am reduced to whining about writer's block in an oh so transparent attempt to get us into the meat of the column. The meat of the column being this year's TV fare.

Transition accomplished, on with the show.

Just when I think that perhaps it is time that I get out into the world and have a life because TV is just so wretchedly bad; NBC gives me "Ed", "The West Wing" and "Law and Order" on Wednesday nights. Now I can feel good about the fact that I rarely if ever leave my house, because of the quality fare being piped into that 32 inch box.

I see that the creators of "South Park" are coming out with a new series on Comedy Central about the current administration called "That's My Bush". I am more frightened than I have ever been in my life. I know that I'll watch, I know that I'll laugh, I know that I'll feel dirty for hours afterwards.

On the XFL, hey it's as much TV as sports. What Vince and co. have learned is that sports is an unpredictable endeavor to televise. No one could have foreseen that the teams in two of three largest television markets would suck so bad as to be painful to watch. There is some decent football being played in this league. It just isn't being played in New York or Chicago and that is a problem.

Skippy's guilty little secret circa 2001. I really like "The Geena Davis Show", I know it's sick, I know it's wrong, but I can't myself. I find myself laughing anytime I tune into that show, which is more than I can say for "Will and Grace".

About "W&G", how offensive would that show be if it were heterosexuals telling all those gay jokes? I find it amusing that in our oh so PC society, straight writers can throw up every stereotype imaginable for straight actors to play, but since the premise is that they are gay it is a civil rights triumph. Plus the fact that critics are terrified to point out that the show just isn't all that funny when it moves away from the most blatantly stereotypical gay character and focuses on the supposed leads.

Speaking of "Ed" does anyone remember a better ensemble drama since the glory days of "Northern Exposure" and "thirtysomething". It continues to amaze me that the writers of shows like "Ed" can hit the mark week after week. It is consistently some of the best entertainment out there today and I am including feature films.

And "friends" just keeps rolling along. They've ratcheted down the psychosis in the Monica and Chandler relationship. They have teased Ross and Rachel in just the right proportion and they have continued the several seasons old hints at a Joey/Phoebe situation. Bookmark this page, `cause the Skipster says this series will end with a triple wedding.

You will note that I have not mentioned "Survivor". Just because you mouth breathers are determined to watch it, doesn't mean I have to acknowledge its existence.

Same goes for "Millionaire".

Found myself watching "The Fighting Fitzgeralds" the other night. Boy, who would have thought that Brian Dennehy would ever be able to honestly say that the "Gilligan's Island" movie wasn't the worst TV that he ever did.

How many "Datelines" are there now? 20? 30?

Same goes for "Millionaire".

Speaking of which, has ABC given us a clinic on how to kill interest in a show or what? I mean did they honestly believe that "Millionaire" wouldn't suffer from being run 7 days a week?

Does CBS actually run shows on any nigh other than Monday? I can't for the life of me think of a single CBS program that isn't on Monday night. Considering television is pretty much my whole life at this point, I find that disturbing.

Of course I also find it pretty disturbing that TV is pretty much my whole life at this point, but I can live with that.

But not nearly so disturbing as the realization that John Goodman willingly did "Normal, Ohio".

See you in 30...

signed, Skippy