Last Modified: Oct 1, 1995

Thoughts To Get You Through any Crisis

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. There is always one more son-of-a-bitch than you counted on.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
5. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
6. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
7. Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
8. The facts, although they may be interesting, are irrelevant.
9. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
10. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
11. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
12. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
13. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
14. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
15. I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
16. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
17. This is probably as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
18. If you think there is good in everyone, you haven't met everyone.
19. All other things equal, fat people use more soap.
20. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
21. One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they change the ends.
23. Not one shred of evidence supports the idea that life is serious.
24. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

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copyright © 1996 Andrew Wallace