Volume 3, Number 4
April, 1998
Chasing Susan
By Fiona Jane
Most of us will have a sob story to tell about a tragic break-up, a
broken heart, and the great relationship which ended when someone went
overseas. Mine is for my best friend.
Susan and I met through interesting circumstances. Actually, she spent
a romantic New Years Eve with my boyfriend while I was interstate and
was the one to inform me when I returned. A great way to start a
friendship? Well, I wasn't too upset, although she was under the
impression that I was, which was probably revenge enough. She missed
out on a few good parties in the senior years of high school to avoid
running into me. Apparently she would spend the night out on the
driveway if she heard that I was inside partying (and presumably waiting
to kill her with all of my seven stone fury).
Anyway, living in the same street meant that we couldn't avoid each for
too long (although we did manage about two years) and we eventually ran
into each other in the local newsagents before our final exams. Being
the more magnanimous of us, Susan bravely wished me good luck, and
instead of reaching for the nearest broadsheet and beating her savagely
with it, I returned the good wishes and went on my way.
Eventually the forces of time (or was it cheap drinks at the local
night-club three nights a week?) led us to become friends. It was good
to find that there was someone else who wasn't afraid to get
embarrassingly drunk and the next morning actually admit all the stupid
things that were done the night before. It was great; Susan would give
me aspirin and absolution at the same time.
Then comes the scary time. The day you think "This is my best friend".
It's just as terrifying as admitting that you're in love. Susan said it
first, and it would fill me with a mixture of pride and horror.
I literally cringed at the thought of being labelled 'the best friend'
and all the responsibility it implied. When you were little, best
friends were someone who lived next door to you and whose parents were
friends with yours. Now that you're older, they are someone that you
could rely on no matter what happened or what you did and would be
there for you for the rest of your life.
Best friends develop slower than Bill Clinton's faithfulness, slower
than any other relationship I know. The title has to be well and truly
earnt through tests that even the most dedicated friend would sometimes
balk at. Comforting a broken heart at three in the morning despite
the fact that you start your new job the next day, having them roll the
car on your foot while you are talking to them, asking them to come and
get you from somewhere far far away even thought their favourite TV show
is on.
Having a new best friend is also strangely traumatic, though probably
more so for girls than guys. Girls get jealous of new friends, and worry
that their old friends won't like them any more. You can only have one
best friend, even if four of you are best friends. For some people it's
more like great, another person to share the beers and couch with.
*burp* Thanks Drew.
Looking at TV, best friends are hard to find. I like to think that
Roseanne and Dan are best friends, but no matter how much you twitch
your nose, Samantha and Darren aren't. Cher and Dionne are just victims
of circumstance (or is that Chanel?), and sadly Balki and Larry are only
friends because they are cousins, sorry Bek. Rachel and Monica live
together, as do Chandler and Joey but no-one could say they are best
friends.
Even if you don't have a best friend, you're sure to have had at least a
few:
- Comfortable Friends
- You like this friend because you can say or do anything around them and they aren't going to get offended. You probably feel like you've known this person forever. It's likely that you met in school/college, and despite the fact that you no longer have much in common, it's still reassuring to know they're around.
- Work Friends
- Someone that you work closely with but wouldn't necessarily choose to be friends with outside the workplace. Sure they have qualities about them that you really like or appreciate (and some that drive you up the wall); you wouldn't want to spend more time with them than you already do. Besides, how much fun would they be without their Dilbert mugs and management impressions?
- Sexual Tension Friends
- When you get one of these friends, you tend to spend way to much time with them. Initially you think, yeah they'd make a great friend, but soon the hidden agenda reveals itself. You want to fuck them. That's it. Sure they might be fun to spend time with, but in the end you just want to have wonderful sex rather than a wonderful conversation with them.
Anyway, back to Susan. I don't know whether I really thought that she
would go to England. Maybe I did, maybe I just didn't want to think
about what that would mean to our friendship. Everyone kept asking me
what I was going to do; they'd say "XXX and I are friends, but you two
do everything together". Which was true.
The day she left I cried. Not that endearing sobbing that some girls
seem to have mastered, more like the gasping gulping tears of a chemical
warfare victim. Bawling, they call it, and bawling it was. Big fat
tears as the plane pulled out, and bigger fatter tears over the flat
champagne we'd drunk just after she went.
She's only been gone for a week, and I keep expecting her to come back.
Sure I've got other friends, and great friends at that, but it's just
not the same. As you get older, your best friend becomes your greatest
ally, your most trusted confidante, your unwanted conscience and the one
person you really need.
Your partner may know most things about you, but your best friend knows
everything; and that's the way it should be.
