Volume 3, Number 3
March, 1998
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Winter Olympic Events We Would Like To See
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by Your SCROOMers |
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With the recent ending of the Winter Olympics, we here at the 'times
were sitting around discussing how lame most of the events are. We
admit, seeing chick hockey was great, but pre-pubescent girls in
tight outfits skating around in circles just doesn't do it for us
(Katarina Witt, where are you?!).
Anyway, in the course of our discussions, we came up with some new
events that we think the International Olympic Committee ought to
consider adopting. The ratings would go up all over the world! That
is, as long as CBS wasn't doing the broadcasting again (stinkeroo,
guys).
Without further ado, here we go:
- Demolition downhill
- Wet T-shirt women's hockey
- Snowbank penmenship
- Nude mixed doubles luge
- Bobsled jousting
- Sonny Bono memorial tree slalom
- Seal clubbing
- Sumo luge
- Icicle catching
- Snowboard avalanche surfing
- Innertube moguls
- Penguin toss
- Three legged speed skating
- Exotic ice dancing
- Snowblower rodeo
- Heterosexual figure skating
- Polar bear milking
We hope that the IOC takes our suggestions under advisement.
Your SCROOMers