Volume 2, Number 7 -- July, 1997
The Big Day is Here!
Hey kids!
You know youngsters, it's July again. That special month
when we celebrate America's most important holiday. The day
day when we wax poetic about what it means to be an American.
The one time of the year when we can all unabashedly worship
the ideals that made this country great. That's right folks,
I am talking about the 11th of July, 7/11, Convenience Store
Day. The day we all stop and say thanks to the contributions
24 hour convenience stores have made to our democracy. Now I
know that by the time you read this the great day will have
passed, but don't let that stop you from going into your
local convenience store, grabbing a Super Big Gulp and giving
the counter person a great big hug. It's that sort of holiday.
I suppose a few of the youngsters out there have forgotten
the importance of 24 hour convenience stores in American
culture. What with 24 hour Supermarkets, fast food joints
and other assorted establishments it is easy to forget the
pioneers of the late night world. I myself have friends that
look at me quizzically when rhapsodize about the local
kwiki-mart. That's all right though, because I am here to
tell you what it was like in those dark days before convenience
stores dotted the land.
There was a time, not so long ago, that you couldn't get
a microwaveable burrito at 4 in the morning. If you wanted
a tasty carbonated beverage at 3 am you had to go to a
machine, that's right a machine I say. Lord help you if
you ran out of beer at 1:30 in the morning because you were
dry until the stores opened the next morning. It was a
horrible time children. There were nights when you didn't
even bother to leave the house after dark so barren was
the consumer landscape. Of sure there were restaurants or
diners that stayed open all night, but you had to deal with
waitresses that called you 'Hon' and most of them had never
heard of ding-dongs. No, for the most part you had to stock
up on essential items back then or wait until sunup when
the stores opened.
And then a great concept was brought unto the land. A store
that would stock everything. From comics to condoms, apples
to cheetos, deli meats to electrical tape. And this store
wouldn't only stock everything, it would also be open
twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a years.
It would never close! Not for holidays or Sundays or
darkness or for anything. No longer would you be stuck at
home pining for the latest issue of TV guide and a pack
twinkies. No sir, you could now go down to your local
convenience store and buy what you wanted, when you wanted
it. There was happiness throughout this great land of ours.
The tyranny of the retailer was beginning to crumble, no
longer would people be content to shop from 9 to 5 and not
at all on Sunday. Now people wanted every store to be a
convenience store. Not just stores either, banks, doctors,
exotic dancers (well OK, they already worked pretty late)
all had to adjust to the new reality of the convenience
culture. Nowadays you can't drive down the street at 4 in
the morning with out being blinded by all of the 'open for
business' signs. It seems as though every commercial
endeavor imaginable is open all night and I for one believe
we are better people for it.
All of the qualities that make America great, the desire for
instant gratification, the love of salty snack foods, the
ability to stay awake for insane periods of time to watch
the entire "Monkees" marathon on Nick at Nite,
the inability to say no to impulse purchases; All of those
ideals are embodied in 24 hour convenience stores. So throw
off your shackles of cynicism this one time and march down
to your 7/11, AMPM, Wawa or what have you and thank them
for being a cornerstone of American Democracy, lo these
many years. Grab a dog, a big gulp and tell them, "Skippy
says 'you guys are the bomb!'"
